Utopiax

Riding the Fence. | April 19, 2006

Ever felt like you were stuck in the middle of something, and couldn't possibly escape? Well, that's me, in a nutshell. So many things happen so often, it's like I am being bombarded with millions of questions. I'm ready to break from these chains of entrapment, and sail away, on my little ship, to my Utopiax. Ah, to be away, from everything and everyone, is to be utterly desired, but never acheived. I couldn't imagine it if I even dared.

Sometimes I just don't know how to feel. Emotions don't come like a geyser to me anymore. I've become someone I want to be: cold, hard, incompassionate, but I don't want to be that either. I hate how I expose too much or too little, or the wrong thing at the right time. I'm a living, breathing paradox. Heh. Maybe I like that. It sounds jovial to me.

Hmmmm. It seems to me that most of my friends are slipping away from me. I don't even know who they are anymore. I've heard the rumors, and I don't want to believe them. I just want to say it's all wrong. I want time to slip back to the time when I wasn't like this.  When I wasn't at mortal combat with people I had previously loved, and the losing of a friend. It makes me depressed to think of these things, yet when I try not to, I do it even more. I like being alone now. Being around people just means I could slip and allow this verbal spewing out. Why risk something when I could prevent it?

Could it be said that a human being can be a supernatural being, since we can alter our own future and past? We can predict.

Wow, I sound emo. Sorry guys, just having some patchy times here.

I swear, I'll be okay.

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1 Comment »

  1. T_T

    Comment by Godzilla — April 19, 2006 @ 1:03 am


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